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December 8, 2011
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Adventure Time Presents:

The Body.

(In a forest outside The Veggie Village, Finn and Jake are trying to outrun each other as they race with a parcel at hand, to the Veggie Kingdom.)

Finn: (laughing) Haha! I'm gonna beat you to it, Jake!

Jake: haha! Dude, you'll never beat me in a race! (stretches his legs, picks up Finn and places him in his back. Both are laughing) Say, what did Princess Bubblegum made for Herbal Princess  this time?

Finn: (shakes the gift-wrapped parcel and hears something fragile in it) Dunno, but whatever it is, it must be sciency enough to make my brain smells like rotten eggs and pickles.

Jake: hehe, yeah been there!

(Finn and Jake made it to a giant hollowed Tree stump turned green house with a house on top of it. Jake turns to normal as Finn jumps off from his back and knocks on Herbal Princess' door)

Herbie: (from inside) who is it?

Finn: It is I! Finn!

Jake: AND JAKE TEH DOG~!

Herbie: wait up, dudes. (opens the door and a green skinned girl with leaves for hair welcomes them) Yo! Guys, what's up?

Jake; we're here in a magical quest~!

Finn: Parcel from Peebs! (hands Herbie the package) Whoo~!

Herbie: oh! (unwraps it and shows them a glass container full of peanuts)
Jake: peanuts?

Herbie: "nut" just any peanuts! These are the rare "Fartnuts!" Only grows in the most dreaded swamps, and known to kill a hundred ogres with one single shell!

Finn: Whoa, how does it work?!

Herbie: Well, I could show you how, but I'm expecting an old friend to come by, so maybe next time!

Jake: (sly look) is it someone special?

Herbie: (blushes a little) ehehe, no, just an old high school buddy! We hadn't met for a long time and he called last night saying he'll visit.

Finn: can we meet him?

Herbie: oh no, no no no no no no~!



...He's sensitive.

(Finn and Jake looks at each other in slight confusion)

Finn: oh...
(cuts to Finn and Jake walking back home through the forest.)

Jake: who do you think it is, Finn? An old highschool crush?

Finn: nah, must be just someone close! A BFF or some poop.

Jake: (stops and puffs his cheek) whoa, dude! I got a sick plan! (sly grin) let's sneak a peek!

Finn: WHAT?! No, Jake! We can't do that! Heroes don't spy on people!

Jake:... Did I say go back and peek at other people's business? I meant to say is just go back there and say hi!

Finn: No, Jake. Just no. You're just gossipy.

Jake: (groans)...oh crudstick! I forgot my wallet!

Finn: You have a wallet?!

Jake: yeah! I keep my picture of me and Rainicorn in it! (starts walking back to Herbie's house) Just go ahead of me, Finn, I'll just get mah wallet! (evil laugh as he turns his back)

Finn: oh- okay! See ya at home, then.

(Jake quietly sneaks around Herbie's house and peeks at a window. It's barely lit inside and there's a tea set in a coffee table. One of the cups is spilled.)
Jake: hmm, looks like the party's over-(Herbie suddenly appears inside from out of the shadow. She's dragging something heavy. Jake tries to make some shape out of it and he realizes what Herbie's dragging: A Body! Herbie, grabbing the body's legs, drags it all the way down to the basement. Jake's yo-shocked, mouth agape, and frozen in fear. Herbie went back up stairs and stretches herself.)

Herbie: darn those dead bodies are heavy.

Jake: (screams as he ran away)

Herbie: (heard him and opens the door*) Jake? (Sees Jake run) JAKE!...

(Cuts at night, Tree Fort, Finn is inside playing "Battle Tetris" on Beemo.)

Finn: (pauses for a while)...say Beemo, does Jake have a wallet?

(Jake bursts in, screaming, Finn and Beemo screams in shock as Jake starts talking in tongues)

Jake:KHSEVSZVFYUAWBRMA WSFJWAMNWA GFV,SJ FW,AD GHA DEMN FHAS FMVWW MND LHWAB!!!!

Finn: JAKE! JAKE! (slaps Jake and shook him) WHAT HAPPENED?!

Jake: I saw...I saw...a dead body.

Finn: ...whut?

Jake: HERBIE KILLED SOMEONE!

Finn:...Jake, Herbal Princess wouldn't kill anything! She's Vegan, and if my reasoning serves me right, Vegans don't kill.

Jake: SHE SPENDS EVERYDAY TALKING TO VEGETABLES, MAN! DON'T YOU THINK ANYONE COULD GO CRAZY FROM THAT?!

Finn: Jake, was it dark inside when you peeked in?

Jake: YEAH BUT-

Finn: Remember the time you thought a mess of blankets was a dead goat? Don't you think this could be the same thing?

Jake: well, I-

Finn: Bro, relax and have some spaghetti. Drink some hazelnut cocoa and you'll be alright.

(Cuts to Jake, finishing dinner, drinks some hot cocoa after eating his spaghetti)

Finn: better?

Jake: (utter silence)...GRAAAAHHH!!!! (throws off the whole table) MURDER! MURDER!!!

Finn: JAKE! LOOK! Tomorrow, we'll look around and I'll assure you, Herbie didn't kill anybody! She maybe a health nut, but she's far from being a homicidal nut.

Jake: but-but-

Finn: You're tired, Jake, let's just go to bed. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning. (Finn leaves to his room)

Jake: but...she saw me...

(Later. Finn and Jake are asleep in their room. Jake is tossing and turning as he recalls the horrific scene he just saw that morning. All the while, someone opens the door of their tree fort and slowly walks up the stairs. The figure is holding something heavy and made out of steel. Jake toss and turns as the figure opens every room it could see, checking whether the boys are in it. It uses it's weapon to hold out the doors, leaving no prints. Jake is now half-awake when the figure finally made it to his and Finn's room. The figure crept closer and-)

Beemo: Jake! Jake! (shakes jake)

Jake: (groan) whoa uh…Beemo?! What's up?

Beemo: I heard some weird noises.

Jake: like what noises?

(suddenly behind him a shadow looms over them both and it was-HERBAL PRINCESS WEILDING A STEEL CORN!)

Herbie: I GREW THIS WEAPON FROM MAH GARDEN! (derpy laugh) AHAHAHAHA!!!!

Jake: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

(Jake woke up from his nightmare. He's sweating a lot)

Jake: whoa, nightmare…(sees around if her woke up Finn. He didn't and he sighs out of relief) Finn…if you're not gonna believe me…then I guess I have no choice. (Jake starts to get out of his bed)

(cuts to him, now out in the rain, carrying a backpack, walking to the Veggie Kingdom. When he made it, he uses his "key-hand" to open the locked door and makes his way to the basement. He pulls out a flashlight and starts to look for the body)

Jake: (sniffs the air) I smell…(sniffs again) DECAY! (starts to follow the scent and it leads him to a small refrigerator) oh my glob…she…she's (opens the fridge and it had…cheese) she has cheese! Well that wasn't so ominous. Maybe Finn's right... (closes the fridge, but the vibration off-balanced a skull which fell right in front of Jake)

Jake: (looking at the skull. Trembling) uh…uuhhh (glances up and saw a collection of bones rested on a decaying cup board. Jake almost screamed, but he remembered that he had to keep quiet. He ran back to the stairs with the skull.)

(All the while, Herbal Princess, who came down for some soy milk, unknowingly closes and locked the basement door after she noticed it unlocked. As she did, the door hits Jake on the face, sending him toppling down back in the basement. Jake's knocked out.)

(The next morning. Finn wakes up with a yawn and notices Jake's not in his bed.)

Finn:…jake? (unzips his sleeping bag and looks around) Jake? Where' you sleepwalked to this time, bro? (notices a letter on jake's bed, he picked it up and reads:

"Finn, Since you won't believe me about the body, I came to Herbal princess' castle and find some proof that she did, indeed, murder somebody.

P.S. Don't touch the Burrito in the freezer. IT'S MY BURRITO.

But help yourself on the Pea pie Herbal Princess made for us, though.")

Aww, dang it, Jake, what did you do this time?!

(cut to Finn going straight to the Veggie Kingdom, he noticed that the door's wasn't  locked and it suspiciously left almost ajar.)

Finn: (enters the house) Princess Herbs? Jake?! Where are you?

(from the basement, Jake's asleep in a small box and a blanket)

Jake: (groans*) uh..just five more minutes mom…wait a minute…(snaps awake) FINN?!

Finn: Jake? (heard him from the basement, he went there and found Jake)

Jake: FINN! I'm so glad you made it! LOOK! SHE HAD SKELETONS! (points to the cup boards, but finds them suddenly empty. Jake farts lightly out of shock)

Finn:…Jake…you gone bonkers…again.

Jake: BUT I SAW THEM

Finn: NO JAKE, WHAT YOU SAW IS YOUR IMAGINATION GOING BANANA CRAVE! YOU GOT TO STOP-…uh…uhhh….

Jake: Finn? What is it?

Finn: (points to something behind Jake. Jake turns and sees a crack behind a drawer and a hand sticking out of it.)

(Both of them pushes the drawer off and reveals a large hole, littered with bones and decayed body parts. Finn and Jake were shocked and let out a scream)

Finn: OH MY GRAWR! HERBIE LOST IT!

Jake; THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU!

Finn: WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE WE GOT TO-

(They suddenly heard Herbie singing as came back to her house)

Herbie: (from up the stairs) thanks for jogging with me, Slime Princess! Same time next week?

Jake: (about to scream, but Finn covers his mouth)

Finn: (shook his head "no" and puts his finger over his lips to "shh" him)

(Finn and Jake went back t the drawer  and tries to push it back, but they heard Herbie opening the basement and was about to come down. The two ran and hide inside a coffin where they watch silently herbal Princess discovers the "break-in")

Herbal princess: WHAT THE-?! A BREAK-IN! (grabs a baseball bat-shaped cactus and ran back up-stairs) ALRIGHT! WHOEVER'S IN HERE, SHOW YER SELF! I GOT A CACTUS BAT! IT'S A BASEBALL BAT SHAPED-CACTUS!...AND NOW I'M GONNA GRAB THIS STEEL CORN!...AND IF I PUT IT TOGETHER IT'S GONNE BE ONE AWESOME WEAPON! (gone)

Jake:…now's our chance!

(Finn and jake ran out of the basement and out of the front door, still left ajar)

Herbie: (unaware that the "intruders" had left) …AND IF I PUT THIS CARROT MISSILE ON TOP IT CAN ALSO ACT AS A BAZOOKA!...hey this is fun! Wonder what else I could put into this…

(Finn and jake were running, running to tell the rest of Ooo for the crimes Herbie had committed, until one sudden thought came to them)

Finn: JAKE! WAIT!...WE DON'T HAVE ANY EVIDENCE!

Jake: AUGH! YER RIGHT! (groan)

Finn: WE HAD TO GO BACK!

Jake: GO BACK?! GO BACK! DID YOU EAT YER BRAIN AGAIN! SHE KNOWS SOMEONE GOT IN! SHE'LL BE GUARDING THAT HOSUE OF HERS RIGHT NOW!

Finn: (strokes his chin)…not if she's distracted.

(cuts to Jake knocking at Herbie's house, he turns and sees Finn hiding behind a large mushroom stump, giving him a thumbs up. Herbie answers the door, wielding a working tree-trimmer.)

Jake: ( screams like a girl)

Herbie: whoa! Jake! Easy!, just me.

Jake: oh y-yeah..uh…uh…

Herbie: Jake?

Finn: (sneaks behind them and went for the back door*)

(Finn went back to the basement and tries to move the drawer, but couldn't. He checks it and sees that it's locked with a dial*)

Finn: AH! SONOVA-

(meanwhile)

Jake:  (uh…cough cough*) ooh, Herbie, I am sick! I am in need of medication!

Herbie: (unamused and suspicious)…ohkaaayyy?

(Finn loudly hits the dial lock with his sword, which can be hear echoing from the front)

Herbie: turns* what was that-

Jake: (grabs her head and turns it back) I HAVE BACK ACHES! FROM LOADING HEAVY THINGS!

Herbie: oh, well, I think I have a thing for that…in my basement!

Jake: (GASP*) I-I MEAN I HAVE BAD BREATHE! SUPER BAD BREATH!

Herbie: um, well, I got just the thing for that, too…in my basement-

Jake: UNTRIMMED TOENAILS!

Herbie: Jake, what's going on?

(Finn grabs a crocket mallet and repeatedly hits the dial lock until it breaks, Finn grabbed the first thing his hand felt in that hole and pulls it out as he ran back up, but the thing he grabbed turns out to be attached to something, and it starts to move. It pulled Finn back into the hole. He screams.)

Jake: FINN?!

Herbie: FINN'S THERE?!

(both ran back to the basement and herbal princess saw the hole exposed again. She tries to crawl in, but Jake pulls her away.)

Jake: OUT OF MY WAY YOU MURDERESS! (crawls in) FINN! FINN!

(In there, Finn's hitting a large, stitched up zombie hulk, who's grabbing him by the leg)

Finn; JAKE! JAKE! HE'S GOT MY LEG! HE'S GONNA EAT ME, MAN!

Jake: KEEP AWAY FROM MY BROTHER YOU-

Herbie: EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!

(everyone stopped moving and screaming)

Herbie: ... (Stern voice) Zombie Man, drop the boy.

(giant zombie drops Finn and he lands on a pile of bones)

Finn: (panics and draws his sword at the zombie)

Jake: Finn! (runs to his friend)

Finn: Herbie...please don't kill us, we won't tell your secrets!

Herbie: gasps) M-My secrets?!

Finn: (shudders with Jake)

Jake: y-yeah! Your homicidal secrets!

Herbie:...wait, what homicidal secrets?

Finn: well...this (pertaining to the corpses) and that! (points to Zombie Man)

Herbie:...OH! Ahahaha! Oh you two, let's get you cleaned up and I'll explain everything.

(Cuts to Finn and Jake, all cleaned up and drinking some herbal ice tea with Herbal Princess, who' now sitting next to Zombie Man. Zombie Man's looking at them with his "good eye")

Herbie: You see,  Me and Zombie here used to be good friends during our highschool years. He's really helpful with all the school work, during Biology class!

Jake: so, he was the dead body you were dragging down the basement?

Herbie: yeah, turns out he forgot his way back home yesterday, so I let him spend the night here. But he wants to feel like home, so I dragged him down the basement!...where it's cold and damp!

Finn: then why did he hurt Jake? And Me?

Zombie Man: daaaahhh...I never hurt doggie. I saw him got knocked down from stairs. I put him in box and blankie him, but i have to put away bones because he might eut it. ("Eut" is not a typo. That's how he saw "Eat".)

Herbie: and you broke into my house! Give me one good reason why he shouldn't hurt you two?!

Finn: yeah that's a good point there, Herbie. I'm sorry.

Herbie: sigh) It's no problem...but you two owe me a new dial lock!

Zombie Man: And some dead flesh!

Jake: ah! So the dead bodies are there to make it smell like Zombie Man's home, too, right?

Herbie:...uh...no. (awkward look) um, Finn. Jake, could I trust you in a secret?

Jake: well, sure, I guess.

Herbie:...I eat dead flesh for fertilizer.

(both Finn and Jake spits out their teas. Both of them look at each other in disgust as Herbie, blushing ashamed of her "revelation". They look at Zombie Man, and he's just nodding in agreement.)

Herbie:...just a little.

(The End)
I made this supposedly as a Halloween episode, but I thought of the idea a day after the holiday itself.

I wanted to do another Herbal Princess episode, since the last time I wrote a fanfic featuring my OC, she kinda ended up as a "villain", and I thought it's a bad way to introduce one of my favorite original characters. (Though, I'm aware that she's also viewed as a potential villain here, but let's not get too testy...)

First time to feature another OC, "Zombie Man", a simple funny guy who's my love letter to new age zombies...even if I do miss the 80s George A Romero or the 70s Fulci zombies...

The "stalking scene" here is inspired by a scene from Psycho 3. I kinda pictured the first half of this theme playing during Herbie's stalking scene in Finn and Jake's tree fort. [link]

Also, for those who did not get the ending: Herbie's vegan, and claims to had never touched and ate meat. But what she never made clear is that if she will, by any chance, eat meat, she wants it rotting. Like fertilizer for a plant (and comparably "junkfood")

ask a question-> :iconaskherbie:

Adventure Time (c) Pendleton Ward
Herbal Princess, Zombie Man and Veggie Kingdom (c) :iconhewhowalksdeath:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthestinkyfoot:
TheStinkyFoot Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2011
This is so good! :D I love it!
Reply
:iconhewhowalksdeath:
hewhowalksdeath Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2011
haha! thank you! This one took a lot of time!
Reply
:icongodzillakiryu91:
GodzillaKiryu91 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2011
lol That was great!
Reply
:iconhewhowalksdeath:
hewhowalksdeath Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2011
haha! thanks. Belated...very belated happy halloween...:iconotlplz:
Reply
:icongodzillakiryu91:
GodzillaKiryu91 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2011
lol Yeah. Two months late.
Reply
:iconthe-bloody-bishop:
The-Bloody-Bishop Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Student Writer
Nicholas: I now wish to reconsider how the unwanted bodies of convicts are disposed within the Republic. Its always neatly productive when cost-efficiency meets environmental safety.
Reply
:iconhewhowalksdeath:
hewhowalksdeath Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
herbie:...dude! I can't EAT all them dead bodies in yer city! I'll die!
Reply
:iconthe-bloody-bishop:
The-Bloody-Bishop Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011  Student Writer
Nicholas: Oh, I don't expect you to eat them all yourself. Share them with the citizens of your Kingdom. Use them as fertizler. Dispose of them organically. If necessary, I'll pay you to take them off my hands.
Reply
:iconhewhowalksdeath:
hewhowalksdeath Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011
...pay?
Reply
:iconthe-bloody-bishop:
The-Bloody-Bishop Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Student Writer
Nicholas: Purely figuartively, of course. Funds from the treasury would be paid to Herbal Princess's Kingdom. We can afford it; the Republic is one of the wealthiest governments in Ooo, after all.

In other words, I wouldn't pay you anything, except within the ficitional world of AT. No offense meant, of course; I just don't have much spare change in hand to pay you for anything.
Reply
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