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February 23, 2012
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(Marshal Lee's House, Night, The vampire King's adjusting the strings of his guitar and starts a recorder)

Marshal:  Testing? Testing? Yes, Log number 45. Today, I'm gonna sing a song I've been working for a while. I'm not sure myself if this song's gonna see the light of day, but, if it's gonne be heard, it'll be just between me and these four walls. Ready:

Light in my eyes in the Darkened sky
Girl of my dreams, walkin' by
Never to see how much she meant to me
How cruel fate can be.
To this I say to myself-

(Behind, unnoticed, some small peebles were being thrown at the window. Marshal continues to sing)

-I'll never know
If I don't go
And tell her…

(As Marshal continues to sing, we see behind him, a ladder rest against his window and Fionna, glaring mad at him, climbs up and starts tapping the window. Marshall didn't hear and continues singing)
Golden Hair! Whistling!
Blue Eyes, glistening!

(Fionna, now irritated, draws her sword, pries the window open with it and screams)
Fionna:  MARSHALL!

Marshall:  (broke a voice and turns at her surprised) WHOA?! WHAT?! FIONNA?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY-?!

Fionna:  MARSHALL! WHERE'S MY CAKE?!

Marshall:  (flat look and strums a string)…um…I'm not sure what-

Fionna:  DON'T PLAY DUMB-BUTT WITH ME, LEE! YOU HAVE CAKE!

Marshall:  Fionna, son, as a friend, you're plump enough…

Fionna:  (blushes madly and fits a rage) NOT THAT KIND OF CAKE! MY FRIEND CAKE! WHERE IS SHE?!

Marshall:  aaah…how should I know? Weren't you two together?

Fionna:  QUIT IT LEE! I KNOW YOU HID CAKE!

Marshall:  (eyes glows red in rage) LOOK HERE! YOU CRASHED IN MY HOUSE, YOU INVADED A PRIVATE MOMENT AND NOW YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF STEALING YOUR CAT?!

Fionna:  LIAR!

(FIonna jumps into his room and starts trashing room per room looking for Cake. Before she was about to open a closet, Marshall screams and lunges at Fionna and pins her down)

Marshall:  FIONNA! STOP THIS CRUBCAKES AND CALM DOWN! I don't have yer cat, and I don't know where she is. That's it. I'm being honest here…

Fionna:  (angry tears on her eyes, but she calms down)(breathes heavily)…okay.

Marshall:  (floats off her, mildly blushing and wipes a sweat off his head) woo…so…

Fioona:  (sits up)I-I-…I can't..(Looks away)I'm sorry… I can't think of anywhere else! I've-I've been looking for her since this morning.

(Flashback. Fionna waking up and finds Cake missing from her bed)

Fionna (narrating) I thought she maybe just got up early and start hunting me some mice cuz, well, she's a cat.

(Fionna eating breakfast, with Beemo, and starts to worry. She takes out a bag and starts shaking it)

But when she failed to turn up when I started shaking her bag of cat treats, I started to worry. I started searching and-well, I actually asked everybody…

(flashback ends)

Fionna:  Everybody, except you.

Marshall:  well, I don't have her. I'm sorry.

Fionna:  I'm really worried, Marshall! I talked to Gumball over it and he said she'll come back; but what if she doesn't?! And she's not the kind of person that would just leave me alone for nearly a day! Something must have happened-

Marshall:  Finns, you're overthinking it. In case you've forgotten, she's magic and cruds.

Fionna:  I don't care! I want to see her!  Marshall, help me find Cake.

Marhsall:  Uhh…I don't know…

Fionna:  Marshall! Please help me! I need to find her!

Marshall:  ugh, stop begging! Sigh* fine, I'll help you out, dude. But you're gonna owe me!

Fionna:  (sniffs and wipes her nose) Thanks.

(Cuts to them back to Fionna and Cake's tree house. Marhsall is looking around for some clues and Fionna sat to a discarded box)

Marshall:  (looks around the mess and whistles) whoa..(chuckles) you totally messed up the place. Guess you want me to help you out clean-

Fionna:  Lee, focus.

Marshall;  awright-awright! Let me, uh…(nose shapeshifts into that of a wolf's and starts sniffing at their laundry)

Fionna:  (startled at what she's seeing and starts blushing madly again) LEE! YOU PERV! WHAT ARE YOU-?

Marshall:  I'm trying to catch cake's scent (holds out a rubber mouse and sniffs it)…I got it. Follow me!

(cuts to them running across a tall grass field, Marshall's still following the scent while Fionna follows him)

Fionna:  Hey Lee! While you're at it, do you smell anything else other than Cake's scent? Like maybe a ruffian's sweat or an evil Knife Lord's blood? Or perhaps, a Monochromicorn's hair?
Marhsall:  nope, just Cake's fur!

(the duo runs to a clearing with some trees. Fionna starts panting and slows down)
Fionna:  wait- wait (pants) let me (pant) catch my breath wooo…(wipes her sweaty head and leans against a tree)

Marshall:  (sniffs the air and turns to a tree) hmmm…(floats to it) uh…Fionna…I found her.
Fionna:  (looks at him brightly) really?! (runs to him and pushes him aside) CAKE!...cake? (They found Cake in a state of absent mindedness, lying on her cake with a dilated eyes and a smile on her face) CAKE?!

Marshall lee:  uh, Fionna

Fionna:  SPEAK TO ME CAKE! (Silence) NO! NOO! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!

Marshall:  uh, Finnie, there's something-

Fionna:  NOOOOO! CAAAKE! (sobs) DON'T DIE ON ME! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE-

Marshall: fio-

Fionna:  CURSE YOU, CRUEL DIRT!!!!WHY???!!!

Marshall:  FIONA! Cake's fine. She's just wigged. Real bad.

Fionna:  …oh (blushes. She puts cake down upside down) what do you mean "wigged"?

Marshall:  I smell catnip on her. A LOT of catnip.

Fionna:  nuh-huh, no way dude, I'd seen Cake in her catnip-induced trance, she does not look half as bad as she is right now. (Glances at Cake, who, while upside down, is giggling)…creepy.

Marshall:  wait a clock-(sniffs)-I smell more cake. (Sniffs the air) over here! (Floats straight forward as Fionna places Cake between some rocks and follows Lee)

(the two came upon some really tall grass and behind it were a burnt village populated by sobbing round cat-like creatures)

Fionna:  whoa, the Catnip village.

(the catnip people heard her, and they all start to panic and run around again)

Fionna:  WHOA! WHOA! Easy guys! I'm here to help! I'm a heroine!

Catnipboy:  a hero?

Fionna:  yep! Fionna the human, at yer service!

(catnip people murmurs to one another. They broke their crowd to make way to a well dressed cat-headed prince)

Prince Catnip:  I am Prince Catnip!

Fionna:  sup Nip

Marshall Lee:  (fixes his dog nose) hey.

FIonna:  what happened here?

Prince Catnip:  our village was attacked by the Nipperpaw.

Fionna:  Nipperpaw?

(upon hearing the name Nipperpaw, the catnip villagers starts to scream and panic again)

Prince Catnip:  HALT! Relax my people, she's not back yet.

(catnip people relaxes again)

Prince Catnip:  I'm sorry, but my people. They're highly jumpy.

Fionna:  who is this-Nipperpaw?

(catnip people panics again)

Prince Catnip:  sigh (face palms) ignore them. She is a terrible creature that preys on us for we are made of catnip…which is actually pretty obvious.

FIonna:  (murmurs) She attacked you cuz yer a catni-? gasp! He must have meant Cake?

Prince Catnip:  wazzat you say?

Fionna:  what?! Oh uh, n-nothing, haha (nervous laughter) uh-uh wait here.

(Fionna grabs Lee and they huddle behind the village)

Fionna:  Marshall, I think Cake attacked these poor villagers while she's caked out in catnip!

Marshall:  Well, sounds possible. I mean, judging from Cake's condition, I guess it's possible. Should we tell them?

Fionna:  NO WAY! They might put her in a kettle or cage or something, I think I can handle this. Just follow my lead.

(Fionna breathes in and calms her mind before approaching Prince Catnip again)

Prince Catnip:  Hey! Yer back! So, what up?

Fionna:  uh, yeah, listen. I think I know where Nipperpaw is hiding-

Catnip guy:  SHE SAID NIPPERPAW! (Crowd starts panicking again)

Prince Catnip:  sigh* okay, uh, so, you will slay this beast for us?

Fionna:  Indeed, little dude!

Prince Catnip:  Sweet! Now, let me just grab that drawing of her-

Fionna:  Oh, there's no need for that! I think my heroine instincts are on full force enough to know what this beast looks like!

Prince Catnip:  uh, okay, if you insist.

Fionna:  (looks back at the Catnip people and shouts) PEOPLE OF CATNIP KINGDOM! I, FIONNA THE HUMAN, WILL ENSURE YOU THAT NO MORE OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT'S ATTACKS WILL PILLAGE YOUR VILLAGE!

Catnip girl: who-know-what?

Lee:  Y'know, that paw thing?

Catnip guy:  Nipperpaw?

(crowd panic again. This time, one of them explodes for no reason)

(Fionna glares at Lee, but plainly ignores him later on as they got bigger things to worry about. When they went back for Cake, they found her batting a wonking worm's head. Fionna picks her up and they made their way to the Tree Fort.)

(Everything's dark now. We can only hear Cake's breathing. She's nuzzled for a while but she comes around soon enough.)

Cake:  (voice) wha-? Fionna? Honey? Where are you?! (strains WHY CAN'T I MOVE?! FIONNA! HELP! ALIEN INVADERS!

(It soon made clear that Cake's blindfolded and tied to a chair while Lee and Fionna watches)

Fionna:  Cake! Don't worry! You're safe-

Cake:  SAFE?! I'M PARALYZED AND YOU CALL THAT SAFE?!

Fionna:  yer not paralyzed, just tied up!

Cake:  okay fine, But  can you explain why I'M BLIND?!

Fionna:  um…(turns to Lee) I told you the blindfold's too much.

Marshall:  fine. (rolls his eyes and looses the blindfold over Cake's eyes) sup, Cake?

Cake:  …(yowls like a cat and her tail frizzles as she sees Lee.)

Marshall:  oh right, I forgot, you're scared of me…HISSSS! (shapeshifts to a monster dog's head, resembling the Gut Grinder and laughs at Cake panicking)

Fionna:  slaps Lee at the back of his head) Lee!

Marshall:  Alright. Alright! (Sly grin and floats back next to Fionna)

Cake:  FIONNA! WHY AM I TIED UP AND TORMENTED BY MARSHALL!

Fionna:  Cake…had you been hitting on the Catnip again?

Cake:  uh-uuhhhy-yes? But so what? I always do!

Fionna:  Cake, I think that thing's gone way into yer main brain! You attacked the Catnip Village!

Cake;  w-WHAT?! I DIDN'T ATTACK NO VILLAGE!

Fionna:  sigh* it hurts me to say this Cake, but…it has to change.

Cake:  w-what do you mean (Cake starts to sweat)

Fionna:  we're gonna get rid of yer catnip privileges. All of it!

(Marshall floats by and shows Cake her stash of catnip)

Cake:  (eyes widen in horror and utters a weak cry) n-no…

Fionna:  Marshall…burns it!

Cake:  NOOOOOO!!!!!! (Cake starts to thrash around her chair as Marshall lights a match and tossed it out of the three fort, which, it reveals, already had the rest of Cake' bag of catnip piled up for a bonfire. The match hits a bag and the fire spreads. Marshall tosses the bag he had out through the window and into the rest)

Fionna;  I'M SORRY, CAKE! BUT IF MEANS YOU MAULING DEFENSELESS SEED FOLKS, THEY HAVE TO GO-

(a sudden knock from the door cuts Fionna's apology.)

Fionna:  whoa-uh, Lee, keep dumping them nips.

Marshall:  awright. (Already doing so)

(When Fionna open the door, there wasn't anyone in front of her, that is until she heard a whistle and she looks down and finds Prince Catnip and his people)

Fionna:  Hey! Prince Nip! How did you find us?

Prince Catnip:  followed the bonfire.

Fionna:  right, so what brings you?

Prince Catnip:  well, we wanted you to have the Nipperpaw's picture-

Fionna:  oh, don't need to, got her bumped off to the nearest grave!

Prince Catnip:  That's good, but really, I insist…for my people's sake…so they won't be so jumpy anymore… ...and my sake too, so I could get some sleep...

Fionna:  OH! R-right, ehehe (nervous laughter) okay, I'll ease yer burden too, Prince- waitaminute. (She looks at the drawing and it's a sketch of a dog-like monster) This is a dog!

Prince Catnip:  Why yes, you didn't know?

Fionna:  b-b-but-but-but-!

Prince Catnip:  I thought you killed it?

Fionna:  But-but-but-ISN'T THAT THE NIPPERPAW! (shows them Cake, tied up to a chair, crying her eyes out as Lee juggles some flaming bags of catnip*)

Prince catnip:  oooh…That's Cake! She PROTECTS us from Nipperpaw! We pay her in Catnip!

Fionna:  wait, if that's not-? Then where-?

(Just then, attracted by the smoking remains of the burnt catnip, the real Nipperpaw arrives and prowls at the Catnip people at Fionna's doorstep. Fionna, out of shock, kicks it off her porch and grabs the catnip people before slamming the door shut. Marshall and Cake stares at her in shock, expecting an explanation or something.)

Fionna:  uhh…I think we made a mistake-

(Before she could finish again, the Nipperpaw crashes in again and snarls at them three. It sniffs the air and smells the catnip at Marshal''s hands. It lunges at bit his arm, prompting him to fight back and claws the best off)

Marshall:  GET OFF! FIONNA GET OUT OF HERE!

Fionna;  ARE YOU NUTS?! I AIN'T LEAVING YOU!

Cake:  HANG ON, HONIES! (Stretches herself into gigantic size, broke off from her chair and head butts the Nipperpaw to one side. The beast gets up again and this time gets to a dog-fight with Cake.)

Fionna:  (places the Catnip people behind the couch and whispers to them) stay put, little people! (She draws her sword and charges to aid her friend, but when she tried to chop it in half, the blade just bounced off)

Prince Catnip:  It's magically enchanted with natural enchantment! You can't kill it with normal methods!

Fionna:  HOW DO I KILL IT THEN?!

Prince Catnip:  You have to have him feed on this magic weed to make him vulnerable! That's how Cake's able to beat him!

Fionna:  Alright, but we need bait…(grabs a catnip person and shakes him over her head) HEY! HEY! DOGGIE! LOOK! CATNIPG GUY!

(The Nipperpaw caught the scent of the squeezed Catnip guy and turns to Fionna, eyes dilated with the smell. It kicks off Cake away from him and charges at the seed folk.)
Fionna:  (whispers to herself) come on, just a little closer…(continues to shake the catnip guy)

(Just then, The Nipperpaw lunges, but what Fionna wasn't expecting was that Cake's also entranced by the scent of the Catnip person. She kicks away the Nipperpaw and snatches the catnip guy for herself)

Cake:  COME TO MOMMAH! (Strokes the catnip guy, with him giggling in relief)

Fionna:  CAKE! WHAT DID Y-

(Just by dumb luck, Cake's sudden attack had kicked Nipperpaw into the catnip bonfire outside. And now they're hearing it yell in pain as it dies in the fire)

Fionna:  oooohh…sssss. Well…that works too. Right?

Prince Catnip:  uh, yeah. Definitely…

(That morning, Fionna and Cake fixes the broken porch and wall with the catnip folk helping them out.)

Fionna:  Cake, I'm sorry I burned off all yer catnip.

Cake;  it's okay sweetums. I should have told you I was going out that night.

Fionna: well, I'm also sorry for judging you. Hope I could still make it up to you.

Cake:  well, for starters, you owe me a bag of homegrown nip.

Fionna:  (laughs) Okay, as long as we go get it from Prince Gumball!

Marshall: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Fionna:  oh, be patient Lee, i think I owe you something special, too, for sticking up with me all night. (Smiles at him)

Marshall:  (blushes a bit) n-n-NO! I MEAN I'M STUCK HERE FOR THE DAY THANKS TO YOU GUYS!

Cake:  oh right, you can't go out in the sun...

(a small pause from everyone, and then everybody laughs. As they laugh, it slowly dissolves to Peppermint Butler sitting next to a fireplace, reading what looks like a fanfiction by the Ice King, only the cover had the Ice King's name scratched off and replaced with "Finn and Jake".)

Peppermint Butler:  (Narrating) And so they laugh hardily at the small conflict and reassures Marshall that things will go well, after all, it was a good day for them, and Fionna's about to meet with Prince Gumball once again, but then, at their way, they've met with a wounded boy, with hair made out of fire-

Ice King:  (Shown to be trapped in a cage with Finn and Jake standing next to it) NO! NO! NO! YOU'RE RUINING IT! RUINING IT!!! (sobs)

Finn:  And that's, what you get for stealing Pizzas, Ice King!

The End
I did this piece as an attempt to do a genderbent story while keeping it true to its Adventure Time Nature, which means yes, I had to do that kind of ending, just for laughs.

I also try fleshing out Marshall at some way, though I;m not pretty sure if I nailed it. I see him as a hipster joker of sorts, who acts mean and cool but is really a softie. You can say this may also count as a FioLee fanfic, but I try not to dwell into that.

The main inspiration for this was doing a genderbent parody of the Gut Grinder episode, but I did some personal ideas here and there, as well as some "noddings" to the same episode.

And yes, i may got a little OD on the drug jokes. hehe...ssss....D8>

Fionna, Cake and Adventure Time (c) Pendleton Ward & Natasha Allegri
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:iconaskbirdprincessmargo:
AskBirdPrincessMargo Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012
Hee, this was a sweet story. Nice job. :D
Reply
:iconchiyin02:
Chiyin02 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I love this story hope you write more~!
Reply
:iconhewhowalksdeath:
hewhowalksdeath Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
Oh, glad you liek it! XD
Reply
:iconlordofnightsshadows:
LordofNightsShadows Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:rofl: nice one bro!
Reply
:iconhewhowalksdeath:
hewhowalksdeath Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
and that's why nobody should steal pizzas...
Reply
:iconlordofnightsshadows:
LordofNightsShadows Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
indeed. *munchs on a slice.*
Reply
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